Farewell !!! (ripper of a farewell e-mail!)

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day."

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "meets expectation." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking about someone who knows your disgusting secrets. ??; )

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still can't believe that after following your instructions, I ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I'm happy that you were let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of people but then again, with this company's rooted history in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite working through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I truly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it's a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us "faceless little people" more. There are many great people that are being over worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the moral of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient ("because it's good for the company") in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our history together. Please don't bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows down listening to Biggie.

One!

Jay and Mausi Ji

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Rishte ki baat - Sholey Style

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Jay : Ram Ram Mausi ...

Mausi : Ram Ram beta .. aa ja ??..??bol kaise aana hua ?

Jay : Mausi Basanti ke liye rishte ki baat karne aaya??hun .. ladka software main hai ...

Mausi : Accha beta .. jara bata to sahi kaunsi company main hai .. ?

Jay : Mausi, ladka??XXX mein kaam karta hai.. wo??golf khel ke high delivery deti hai na??..usme??...

Mausi : Haaye Ram..!!! Aur kahin try kyon nahin karta ..kyon apna jeevan barbad kar raha hai ??

Jay : kahan mausi 2 saal??XXX me rahne ke baad koi Company leti kahan hai...
Mausi : Hey Raam to kya 2 saal se??XXX mein hi hai...

ay : haan socha tha 2 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary bhi jyada NAHI mil rahi hai use..
Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..?

Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi..bechara ASE hi hai abhi tak..
Mausi : Hai hai ...!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..? Mua ASE hi hai ...

Jay : Senior se ladai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to nahin milti hai na ..... mausi..
Mausi : To kya seniors se ladta bhi hai..?

Jay : Ab 2 saal tak onsite jane ko na mile to ho hi jaati hai kabhi kabhi ladai....
Mausi : To kya ab tak ek baar bhi onsite nahi gaya..???

Jay : Ab Outdated technology ke developer ki kismat mein to yehi likha hai mausi..
Mausi : kya kaha ladka??Outdated technology mein kaam karata hai..!!! hai ram ... mainframe pe to nahin hai kahin ..

Jay : Ab aise college se padkar niklega to mainframe hi milegi na mausi ....

Mausi : Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..mue ne...?

Jay :?? Kabhi batata nahin mausi ..?? pata lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar??denge !!

Jay : To main rishta pakka samjhu na mausi?
Mausi : Beta, kaan khol kar sun le... Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki koi sauteli maa nahi. Bhale hi hamaari
Basanti Call Center wale Chandu se shaadi karle par??XXX ke??employee se katai nahin karegi.

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Swine flu: lessons from the 1994 plague

swaminomics

by

Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar

Dated: August 16, 2009

Swine flu has killed over 20 Indians so far, and may soon claim hundreds, even thousands. That is a tragedy. Even so, swine flu remains a very minor cause of death, far behind other diseases that kill millions. The panic generated by the media is unwarranted, and is worsening health outcomes.

In 2001-03, the Registrar General conducted a survey to gauge the main causes of deaths in India. Heart disease came first (19%), followed by respiratory diseases like asthma (9%), diarrhea (8%), respiratory infections like pneumonia (6.2%), tuberculosis (6%), and cancer (5.7%).

Applying these percentages to India???s annual deaths of around 9 million, we find that 1.37 million people die annually of respiratory diseases and infections, 720,000 of diarrhea, and 540,000 of TB. These are staggering numbers. They imply that on an average day, 3,753 people die of respiratory diseases and infections, 1,973 of diarrhea, and 1,479 of tuberculosis.

Seen in this light, 20-odd swine flu deaths are almost laughably trivial. I do not laugh, because every death is a tragedy. But I am infinitely sadder for the millions whose plight has been swept out of public view, and is actually being worsened by upper-class panic.

Make no mistake, swine flu panic is substantially an upper class worry. Why do the media overflow with news of swine flu while ignoring other diseases that kill thousands every day? Because those everyday diseases are the problems of the poorer half of India, and the media target the upper half. Some upper class folk do get asthma or TB, but they are quickly treated and rarely die of these diseases. The millions who die come from the bottom half, lacking access to doctors and medicines. They die so regularly in millions that their deaths are no longer considered news.

Then along comes swine flu. It is a new disease, and that itself commands media attention. The richer half is terrified that not even its money and access to doctors provides safety. As a disease carried by air travelers, swine flu is a quintessential elite concern. Elite panic soon spreads to lower rungs of society, as the media project a new apocalypse. This is true across the world. Globally, swine flu has infected 177,000 people and killed 1,126. The numbers are trivial compared with deaths from malaria, respiratory disease or diarrhea. Yet the global media focus on swine flu.

Panic over a new disease of limited impact is hardly new. The 2002-03 epidemic of SARS (severe acute respiratory syndrome) hogged global headlines for almost a year. Yet WHO data between November 2002 and July 2003 listed only 8,096 infections and 774 SARS deaths globally.

India had a plague panic starting in Surat in 1994. Half a million people fled Surat, and more fled Mumbai and other cities in Gujarat and Maharashtra. Schools and businesses closed down across India. Business losses in Surat alone were $ 260 million. Foreign countries stopped buying Indian agricultural exports, causing losses of $ 420 million. Foreign investors pulled out of stock markets, 45,000 foreign tourists cancelled their trips to India, and some international airlines stopped flying to India.

The media duly reported these economic costs. Yet arguably the greatest costs were borne, unseen, by the poor. Tetracycline, a cheap antibiotic popular with the poor, disappeared from chemists shops because of panic buying by plague suspects. Hospitals everywhere were inundated with lakhs of citizens wanting to be checked for plague. Only a handful of these were found infected. Indeed, only 53 deaths were ultimately attributed to plague, and some experts cast doubt on whether even these were plague cases. But doctors and hospitals across India were overwhelmed by plague suspects, and so had no space, time or medicine for those dying of other everyday diseases. This suffering, mainly of the bottom half of society, attracted no media attention whatsoever.

In dealing with swine flu, we must remember lessons from the plague panic of 1994. The media must put swine flu deaths in perspective by also reporting how many people are dying of other diseases. Politicians and the media must repeatedly highlight lessons to be learned from the plague panic: how it hugely inflated fears and death estimates, how it crowded out medical attention to sufferers of other killer diseases, and how it imposed huge financial and psychological costs unnecessarily. The Prime Minister has appealed to the media not to spread panic. Yet panic is inevitable when the Health Minister says in a Times of India interview that one-third of all Indians could ultimately be infected. We need cool heads and discreet tongues.

This really happened in British Airways

This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg , South Africa & London .

A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.

Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "You obviously do not see it then?" she asked. "You placed me next to a black man. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."

"Be calm please," the hostess replied.

"Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."

The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later.

"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.

I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class."

Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.

"It is not usual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."

The Hostess turned to the black guy, & said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class."

At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.

This is a true story. If you are against racism, please send this to all your friends; please do not delete it without sending it to at least 1 person.

WELL DONE, British Airways!! ??

Hilarious!!! Leave Letters

LEAVE LETTERS

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??This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...?? ??

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
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2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee?? who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
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3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: ??
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
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4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
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5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
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6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday." ??
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7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
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8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
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9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
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10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
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12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying?? for the post.

Rice fields in Japan... Amazing ART

Stunning crop art has sprung up across rice fields in Japan . But this is no alien creation - the designs have been cleverly planted. Farmers creating the huge displays use no ink or dye. Instead, different colours of rice plants have been precisely and strategically arranged and grown in the paddy fields. As summer progresses and the plants shoot up, the detailed artwork begins to emerge. ?? A Sengoku warrior on horseback has been created from hundreds of thousands of rice plants, the colours created by using different varieties, in Inakadate in Japan The largest and finest work is grown in the Aomori village of Inakadate , 600 miles north of Toyko, where the tradition began in 1993.?? The village has now earned a reputation for its agricultural artistry and this year the enormous pictures of Napoleon and a Sengoku-period warrior, both on horseback, are visible in a pair of fields adjacent to the town hall.?? More than 150,000 vistors come to Inakadate, where just 8,700 people live, every summer to see the extraordinary murals.?? Each year hundreds of volunteers and villagers plant four different varieties of rice in late May across huge swathes of paddy fields. ?? Napolean on horseback can be seen from the skies, created by precision planting and months of planning between villagers and farmers in Inkadate ?? Fictional warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife Osen appear in fields in the town of Yonezawa , Japan And over the past few years, other villages have joined in with the plant designs. Another famous rice paddy art venue is in the town of Yonezawa in the Yamagata prefecture. This year's design shows the fictional 16th-century samurai warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife, Osen, whose lives feature in television series Tenchijin. Various artwork has popped up in other rice-farming areas of Japan this year, including designs of deer dancers. ?? Smaller works of crop art can be seen in other rice-farming areas of Japan such as this image of Doraemon and deer dancers The farmers create the murals by planting little purple and yellow-leafed kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed tsugaru roman variety to create the coloured patterns between planting and harvesting in September. The murals in Inakadate cover 15,000 square metres of paddy fields. From ground level, the designs are invisible, and viewers have to climb the mock castle tower of the village office to get a glimpse of the work. Rice-paddy art was started there in 1993 as a local revitalization project, an idea that grew out of meetings of the village committee. ?? Closer to the image, the careful placement of thousands of rice plants in the paddy fields can be seen ?? The different varieties of rice plant grow alongside each other to create the masterpieces In the first nine years, the village office workers and local farmers grew a simple design of Mount Iwaki every year.?? But their ideas grew more complicated and attracted more attention. In 2005 agreements between landowners allowed the creation of enormous rice paddy art.?? A year later, organizers used computers to precisely plot planting of the four differently colored rice varieties that bring the images to life.

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Winning Notification..?????????

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Microsoft/MSN Lottery . <m.s.n.l.department30003@msn.com>
Date: 2009/8/27
Subject: Winning Notification..?????????
To:

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????CONGRATULATIONS !!!!
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????YOU HAVE WON ??1.5 Million POUNDS STERLING!
??????????????????????????????????????????????YOU HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCED AS ONE OF THE 12 TOP LUCKY WINNERS !!!
??
Microsoft/MSN Lottery gives members random cash prizes every month. Today your mail is randomly selected as one of the 12 top winners mail who will get cash?? prizes from us. We are happy to inform you that you have won a prize money of (One Million, Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds Sterlings ( ??1,500,000.00 GBP) for year 2009 lottery win promotion which is organized every weekend by Microsoft/MSN Lottery Board.
??
Microsoft, collects all the mail addresses of the people that are online and off line on Messenger, among the millions that subscribe to Yahoo, MSN,Gmail?? Messenger e.t.c we only select 12 TOP people every month as our winners through electronic balloting System without the winner applying,we are???? congratulating you for been one of the people selected to receive top cash prize for this month.All participant were selected through a computer balloting?? system drawn from Nine hundred thousand E-mail addresses from Canada, Australia, United States, Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of?? ourinternational promotions program which is conducted annually.
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HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE
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These are your Winning Information and Identification Numbers:
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Winning Numbers....................... ....ML007654
Reference Number.........................ML34355CD
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To begin your claims, kindly contact the Yahoo/msn microsoft Claims officer,??Wright Fernandez??at??this email address below.
??
******************************??
Mr Wright Fernandez (Claims Officer)
EMAIL:??claimsdepartmentunity160@hotmail.co.uk
******************************
You are required to forward your winning details via the above e-mail addresses.And note that you must send your information
to the above offices for verification purposes.
1. FULL NAME........
2. COUNTRY OF ORIGIN.....
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8. MARITAL STATUS.......
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12. A VALID ID CARD......
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Congratulations once again from me and all members and Staff of Microsoft/MSN Lottery INC!!
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Yours Sincerely,
APPROVED
MELISA??ROSS?? (PHD)
LOTTERY CO-ORDINATOR.